I'm Conan O'Brien, and I'm honored to be the last human host of the Academy Awards. Next year it's going to be a Waymo in a tux.
Conan O'Brien, Opening Monologue
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Security is very tight tonight. There are concerns about attacks from the ballet and opera communities. They're just mad you left out jazz.
Conan O'Brien
Timothée Chalamet laughed along beside Kylie Jenner.
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If that makes you uncomfortable, there's an alternate Oscars being hosted by Kid Rock. It's at the Dave & Buster's down the street.
Conan O'Brien